Where we've come
by Hasselhoff
Summary: In Progress... Carter and Abby meet 14 years later, both married, both have children.
1. my life

Authors Note- I am not sure where I am going with this fic, I have a vague idea but nothing is set in stone yet, I am not even sure if I want to continue this so tell me what you think. There will be Carby in it just wait for it!   
  
Slush. I hate slush, although it does make quite a satisfying sound. 'Slish, sloch, slich, sloch.' This had to be one of the busiest days since I've started at North Western some fourteen years ago. A big pile up on Main Street, kept me in the trauma room pretty much my whole shift. Days like this I just want to go home and curl up in front of the television like I use to when I worked at County, or when I was single. I pull a loose strand of hair that has strayed from my messy bun behind my ear. I near my house, a nice house. It is big enough to fit all five of us, I have two boys and a girl, and my stunningly handsome, sweet, husband. We have been married twelve years. Some of the best years of my life were are from that marriage. I have never really had a successful relationship but then he walked into my life, and it was like I didn't have to try anymore. Everything was so simple, so easy. I had had other relationships before of course, one with a man with whom I thought I might marry. It didn't happen though. We worked together and things ended badly, although we remained close friends after the break up. I walk up the snow covered steps to my door, realizing my kids did not shovel like I had asked them too. I stick my key in the door, before I can turn it the door swings open and there stands my son Cole. Eleven and a half and a cute loveable trouble maker. He smiles at me while shoving a donut into his mouth. "Where's your father?" I ask stepping into the messy house.  
  
"Daddy is at work." I must have forgotten, we both work shift work so it is tough to remember who works what, usually I can remember though. "When did his shift start."   
  
"At six." He swallows the donut, I glance at my watch seeing 7:30.   
  
"So you decided to eat donuts for dinner?" I scold.  
  
"No, Dad bought them earlier, he made us dinner. There's some for you on the stove."  
  
"Where's your brother and sister?" I am not in the kindest of moods tonight.   
  
"Uh- the little guys upstairs and the annoying one is at Baxter's." I groan realizing I will most likely have to go pick her up from his house. "Did your dad meet Baxter's parents?"   
  
"Yeah, Baxter's dad." Cole shoves another donut into his mouth.  
  
"Cole quit eating those." I put the box on top of the fridge. I pick up the box and dial my husbands work number. "Hello." A groggy voice says.  
  
"Can I speak to Danny please?" I wait a moment and hear the men talking about Danny's old women calling. They always do this. "Hey baby." Danny says into the phone.  
  
"Hi." I grouch.  
  
"Long shift?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You need to pick Chloe up from Baxter's house. I don't think we should be letting our daughter date."  
  
"Danny she's thirteen they just call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend all they really are is study buddies and friends."   
  
"I don't know about that, they had a pretty 'friendly' hug today." I roll my eyes at this comment. "Here's the address... 56, 89th street."   
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too, be safe when fighting those fires." I beg him.  
  
"I always am baby." He hangs up the phone and so do I.  
  
I turn around to see Cole trying to get at the Donuts again. "Cole get away from those now!" He scurries off. I sit down at the kitchen table looking into the boring depths of my black coffee. I look at the clock and realize I should probably pick my daughter up from her 'boyfriends' house soon. They have been 'going out' for three months, at first both Danny and I thought it would only last about a week and then she started talking to him on the phone every night and now he spends at least three week nights over here. She has never gone to his house though and I have never met the parents. He always leaves before dark and goes to his parents work, I don't know anything about him.   
  
I pick up a white envelope on the table noticing it is written to me, and my husband I pull out the note and it is from Sebastian, my five year olds teacher. He has been acting up again. What am I ever going to do with him. See what I mean about wishing I could curl up in front of the television? 


	2. Change of Plans

Authors Note- Hey I am not sure how this fic is going to turn out, just keep reading and thanks to everyone who reviewed!  
  
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"Sebastian, Cole get your tiny butts down here we're going to get Chloe now!" I hear them chuckle as they pound down the stairs. I walk towards the front door grabbing Sebastian's coat from the hook and handing it to him. I consider bringing up the note that I received from his teacher today, but I haven't read it yet so it will have to wait till later. I pull a snow hat over Sebastian's dark brown hair, he pushes it up away from his brown eyes. "Mommy I love you!" He says grinning hugging me.  
  
"I've already seen the note." I say grabbing his hand and ushering Cole out of the house.  
  
"Damn." Sebastian Cusses. I shoot him a look that tells him that language is not appropriate. "Did you guys with Daddy to drop Chloe of earlier?"   
  
"Uh-yeah the house is pretty huge mom." Cole tells me. I nod, I always thought our house was pretty big, bigger then I thought I would ever want. Baxter doesn't live far from us about twenty minutes away. They go to the same private school, the boys don't go to private school though, we thought that probably wasn't a good idea, they just aren't private school kids, but Chloe needed it. She was having a tough time at public school so it was our only option and my job doesn't pay bad. Danny's does though. I always worry about him out there fighting fires for crappy pay, risking his life. I probably should have married Luka, I laugh silently to myself, nah that would have been a bad choice.   
  
"Mom your phones ringing." Cole shouts to me. I pick it up, looking at the unrecognizable number. "Hello?"   
  
"Hey, Mrs. Danner. It's Baxter."   
  
"Hey Baxter?"  
  
"Hi, um we think Chloe broke her wrist when we were riding our bikes" Oh no, I can not believe this, "Uh- is she okay?" I say turning down the radio.  
  
"Yeah, we're at County General." I immediately turn in the direction of my former work. "Mom where are we going?" Sebastian asks leaning forward.  
  
"Chloe's hurt baby, we are- we are just going to check on her." I say turning into the hospital parking lot and running out of my car, with my two boys behind me. I enter the hospital somewhat out of breath looking around. I grab Sebastian's hand and look around the hospital, we walk fast with Cole on our heels. "Hi, I'm looking for my daughter...she was..." I say to Frank, he turns and looks at me about to say something but then I spot Baxter who waves me over. "Hey." I say to him. I look at my daughter lying on the hospital bed. She is drowsy and out of it. "My dad is a doctor here, that's why we brought her here." Baxter explains, sitting on the corner of the bed. "I use to work here." I say to no one in particular. I look around at the familiar settings, and take them in. Sebastian pulls on my leg, I pick the tiny boy up. "Whose your dad?" I say glancing at my surroundings.   
  
"Dr. Kovac." Oh, god. I spot him talking to Susan, its crazy that all these people still work here. I approach them, Sebastian's head now resting on my shoulder. "Hey." I interrupt.   
  
They turned to me looking stunned. "Abby." Luka says in a shocked way. Yeah, its me.  
  
"Hey guys, um my daughter, your um- looking after her." I manage to say.  
  
"What's her name?" Susan asks puzzled.   
  
"Chloe!" I tell her.  
  
"Your daughter is Chloe?" Luka asks surprised.  
  
"Yeah, and your son is Baxter." I say laughing.  
  
"Wait, your daughter is the girl that Baxter is obsessed with?" Susan laughs. I manage to nod. "yeah." I smile. Luka, walks me over to her, she is now awake and looking up at me. "Mom?" She asks.  
  
"Hey sweetie." I push her hair away from her face.  
  
"Where's dad?" She yawns.  
  
"Work stupid." Sebastian insults.   
  
"Sebastian. Cole go take Sebastian and get something to drink and a snack." I say handing him off to his brother. Baxter follows them.   
  
"She's going to be okay, it was a clean break. She's in a little bit of pain though so we have her on pain killers. I am so sorry about this Abby."   
  
"Don't worry Luka accidents happen." I smile reassuringly.   
  
"Would you like to call your husband?" He offers.  
  
"In a minute maybe." I need to recuperate from the shock of my daughter being in the hospital. "So you have kids?" He asks.  
  
"Yeah. So do you?"   
  
"yeah, I met a girl, Sophia a few weeks after you left, she uh- she got pregnant and died during delivery."   
  
"Oh- I'm so sorry Luka."  
  
"So it's just Baxter and me." Poor Luka, he has been through so much in his life, now the mother of his child dying, its horrible. I decide to change the subject. "So do a lot of the same people work here?"  
  
"Uh- Pratt, Chen, Gallant, Susan, Neela, pretty much the same oh and of course Carter." He chuckles. Jesus, I had forgot all about Carter I was too concerned about Chloe to worry. "Luka." I hear a voice call from down the hall and its no other then... 


	3. weird confrontation

Authors Note- Its like three in the morning lol, I am so tired but I just wanted to finish this one. I am going to give some review shout outs in the next chapter I promise, I am just so tired right now. Here's chapter 3 enjoy!  
  
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"Abby...I want to say Lockhart but that big rock on your ring finger is telling me it has changed." Pratt teased.  
  
"Hey Pratt." I lean in and give him a hug.  
  
"Yeah, I'm Abby Danner now." I say happily.  
  
"Really? What's the Hubby's name?"  
  
"Danny!" I say.  
  
"Really, Danny Danner. I don't understand how parents can hate their children at such a young age. Daniel Danner. So do you have any kids? What brought you back here?"  
  
"Three kids. One of my kids broke her wrist." I am a little upset over this whole situation,   
  
"Oh- on that Abby. Chuny just called him." Luka explained. He turned around and walked to see his other patients. "How old are your kids?" Pratt continued.  
  
"Well...I have a five year old, eleven and thirteen year old." I explain.  
  
"Really boys or girls?"  
  
"The thirteen year old is my daughter and the other two are boys."  
  
"How long have you been gone anyways?"  
  
"Thirteen years." I sigh it has been that long. WOW!   
  
"Well good to have you back." He say patting me on the arm and leaving. I turn and look at the admit desk and see Danny, he has Sebastian in his arms and Cole is standing beside him, they are talking to Doctor probably Luka, I turn to go see Chloe, Luka is probably filling Danny in on what is going on.  
  
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"Hello, I'm Dan-"   
  
"Daddy!" I hear a small child screech. I look over my shoulder and there is a small boy with long brown hair running towards the big man that just approached me. There is another boy with him, also brown hair but taller then the other one, he looks about ten or eleven. The man turns to me again to start from the beginning. "Hi, sorry. I'm Danny Danner. My daughter was brought in here about an hour ago with a broken wrist. Her name is Chloe Danner." He explains. "I was wondering where she is."   
  
"She was right over there daddy!" The smaller boy shouts pointing to an empty bed.   
  
"She must have been moved." I explain. I look over my shoulder at the board. Chloe Danner exam 2. "Follow me Sir." I say turning to towards the exam room. "She should be in here, let me check." I open the door and their sits a tiny brown haired lady whose back is turned an a very out of it looking young girl, with a casts wrist. I think I found the right room. I go check the clipboard just to be sure, Chloe Danner. Right one. The girls mother turns and looks at me. "Carter?" She says miffed.  
  
"Abby..." Abby Lockhart, she's back. Married with three kids. God this isn't happening.   
  
"What- What are you doing in here?" She seems quite angry.  
  
"Your husband came in asking for your daughter and they moved her so I just uh- I was just double checking that I have the right room. I'll go get him." I leave as quickly as I came in. "So is it her?" The man pushes. I have a sudden hate for this man.  
  
"Yeah, that's hurt."   
  
"Are you okay?" The oldest of the boys asks me. I smile unconvincingly and leave. I hear the man enter the room.   
  
"Carter, Kem called says to call her right away."   
  
"Thanks Jerry." I walk into the lounge, taking a deep breath. Thirteen years later and she's back with a husband and kids. Maybe it has been longer then thirteen years I don't know, but it has been a long time. I take a deep breath and pick up the phone to call Kem. It rings twice before she answers. "John?" She says angry.  
  
"Kem hi"   
  
"I am dropping the kids off." She slams the phone down and with that she is gone. What the hell have I done now? Kem and I get along great, but I don't think it was love for either of us. She has been angry over the last couple of years. She misses Africa her home. She loves the kids, but she knows they can not go to Africa it is to dangerous.   
  
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I stare at the door I can not believe who just walked through that door. Which is weird since I knew he works here still, I guess just never expected to see him, which is silly. I hear Danny walk in. Cole and Sebastian follow him. "Hey is everything okay with that guy? Is something wrong in here?" Danny asks quite worried.   
  
"Yeah, I um- he's an old- well when I worked here." I stumble over my words and everyone watches me. "Hey Abby baby lets go talk outside." Danny ushers me out of the room. "Is everything okay?" He rubs my shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, yeah that's just- remember John Carter? My ex boyfriend."  
  
"Not really." Danny says like this an unimportant conversation, considering our daughter is laying in a hospital room hurt. "What about him?"   
  
"Well we just dated for a bit that's all." I say playing the situation down.  
  
"You got all worked up because you dated the guy?" He laughs.  
  
"Yeah I guess." I push loose strands of hair out of my face. "Long day I guess." I fake a smile. "I'm- going to go- I'm just going to take a walk." I point towards the exit. I don't even bother grabbing my coat I just leave the building into the freezing cold December evening. I wrap my arms around my body to keep warm, I guess I do it more for comfort, I don't even notice the cold, I am just scared out of my mind as to what comes next. I keep walking, my thoughts consuming me. I don't even notice but I end up walking to the river. I lean against the cold railing and take a deep breath, about the fortieth I've had tonight. It be must easier if I still smoked. "Hey." I look behind me and there stands John Carter. "Hi." I don't look at him as I say this, I focus completely on the river. I feel him walk up beside me he looks out at the river too. "This is weird." He starts, well no duh.  
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Um...So your married?"   
  
"Yeah, after Chloe was born." I sigh.  
  
"You?" It seems so weird to be having this conversation with him, we were taking it so lightly like it did not mean anything to either of us. Nothing but casual conversation. God it should be different. "Nah." This shocked me.  
  
"NO???" I raise my eyebrows, turning to him this time.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Really I always thought you and Kem.." I trail off as I say this.  
  
"We're together...Well Sort of." He seems a little upset, this is probably a touchy subject. "We have a few kids." He adds like he's talking about potatoes, or socks. Definitely not children. "How's you son?"   
  
"How'd you know I have a son?" He asks puzzled.  
  
"Kem was pregnant when I left."   
  
"Yeah, uh there were complications at birth." He explains gloomily.   
  
"I'm sorry Carter." I say rubbing his arm.  
  
"I have two kids with Kem. I think its over though. She is going back to Africa, I am going to be a single daddy." He laughs ironically. I let a tense silence fill the air for a moment. "What are their names?" I ask. He smiles widely while talking about them.  
  
"My daughters nine and her name is Kelsey, my son who is five is Spencer."   
  
"Why did you act so weird when you saw me?" Carter changes the subject.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When I walked into the room, you seemed scared worried I don't know..."   
  
"Nothing it was just weird that's all." 


	4. Facing the truth

Authors Note-This is probably the craziest chapter I've ever written I am just drained for ideas but I wanted to get something out there for you guys to read so this is what you get I hope you like it, despite my lack of writing skill lately!  
  
"I'm so glad Chloe is okay."   
  
"Wh- oh yeah...Me too." I smile. Danny looks at me with a worried expression, I know I have been acting strange ever since I saw John at the hospital yesterday, I just hope Danny doesn't notice. I know he does, maybe he doesn't realize that its John that I'm upset about. "Hey, come here." He says inviting me into bed. I crawl in next to him, nuzzling up against his big warm body. I take in his scent and smile. God I love this man. "What's wrong baby?" He asks bringing me out of my trance.   
  
"Nothing." I lie. He pulls away from me.   
  
"Abby, I don't want to do this!" He states firmly.   
  
"Do what?" I act.  
  
"Lie, you are hiding something from me, and we can't pretend that your not. If you don't come straight with me right now this marriage could go to hell. Do you want that? We have three beautiful kids together, I don't want to hurt them or loose you." I nod and decide it is time to come clean with him. I pull out of his grasp completely, leaning my head against the backboard, preparing to go into a big speech and then an equally big argument. "Uh- It was about a week before I met you. Carter had had a bad day, you know one of those days, he and his girlfriend were at odds and um- I needed help studying so he uh- told me he could help me with that." I pause and take a deep breath. "So he came over and uh we were working hard. We decided we would take a break and so we did, we watched television, but we got a little comfortable and one thing lead to the next and we were in bed." I wipe a stray tear off my cheek. My husband is staring intently at me, he gets it he's angry. Very angry. "She's not mine is she?" He asks flat out.   
  
"Danny- She's not yours biologically but she's your daughter. He's not her father." Danny gets out of bed and leaves the room. I hesitantly follow. "Danny please." I beg following him into the kitchen. "You lied to me for thirteen fucking years Abby." I could feel the tears burning my eyes. "I know, but I love you not him. Your her father, he's nothing just an accident. I love Chloe you love Chloe this should not impact-" He cuts me off.  
  
"This should not have an impact on us? Is that what you were going to say? Abby you lied to me and your children all three of them. That little girl upstairs has lived her WHOLE life thinking one thing and all of the sudden we have to go and tell her another..."  
  
"NO! NO DANNY! We are not telling her!" I shout. I know I have probably woken the kids, but I need to work this out. "We will tell her, and I'm out of here till you do." With that he pushes by me into our bedroom. "Danny- don't do this. What about the kids?"   
  
"I'll pick them up after school today and we can hang out." He huffs.   
  
"Danny- Please..." I can feel the tears falling, well cascading down my face.   
  
"Abby- You owe it to Chloe and that Carter guy- you owe it to them." He chokes out his words, pushing by me and out of the house.   
  
* * *  
  
"So why didn't I go with Grandma and Grandpa? Are you guys getting a divorce? Is something wrong?" Chloe asks scared. "Honey sit down." Danny says patting the middle couch cushion in-between himself and me. "Uh- I have to tell you something that is going to be hard for me to say and equally hard for you to hear." She nods, expecting the worse.  
  
"I- uh, do you remember the man-" I start...  
  
"Abby-" Danny cuts me off signalling for me to get straight to the point.  
  
"Um- Daddy, and I love you very much, a little over thirteen years ago, god maybe even fourteen years ago, before I met your father I um had another boyfriend who I was very serious with, and he and I- well we, and- we had a relationship, he uh- left for a bit and then came back, things happened..." She has rage written all over her face. She jumps up from the couch and looks at her father and me.  
  
" Your not my dad?" She whispers. Danny shakes his head a single tear falling down his cheek. She pushes her hair back. "WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME?" She shrieks at us.   
  
"Chloe your daddy didn't know either." I said.  
  
"So you, my mother my only fucking relative-"   
  
"Chloe don't use that language with your mother." Danny scolded.  
  
"You can't tell me what to do, your not my father anyways." She spits bitterly at him, tears flowing down her now pink cheeks, she wipes her face with the back of her arm.   
  
She storms off to her bedroom, I look at Danny who stares at me then gets up to go see her.   
  
* * *  
  
I walk into the packed hospital looking for one person and one person only. I scan the admit desk he's not there. I decide that I should ask Jerry if he knows where he is. "Jerry is John here?" I say tapping the desk.   
  
"Yeah, he's in Exam three."  
  
"With a patient?"  
  
"Sleeping." He looks back down to his computer. I walk slowly towards the room, a million thoughts racing through my mind. I turn the handle ever so gently, but still he tosses a bit. He looks up squinting at me. "Abby?" He asks in a raspy voice.  
  
"Hey." I take a seat on the corner of the bed. He gets up looking at me, still squinting. "What are you doing here?" He coughs lightly rubbing his hand on his forehead.   
  
"I need to talk to you. I called you at home, Kem said you were working."   
  
"Yeah, um- yeah I am." He says a little upset.  
  
"Is everything okay?" I ask sympathetically.  
  
"Yeah, she's going back to Africa. The kids are staying here with me. She's coming back in a few months, but uh- I think she misses it there, and making her stay here is just going to make her resent me." He explains  
  
"Oh- I'm sorry it did not being everything you expected." He laughs bitterly.  
  
"Yeah, well. I think we were in love at one point but it just got to be too much. We are too different, or maybe too similar I'm not sure either or... It doesn't matter you obviously did not come all the way here to talk to me about Kem and I. So what's up?" He smacks his lips together and a faint smile crosses his lips. "Uh- I have to tell you something that uh- I never want to tell you to be honest with you, but bearing the secret it was becoming too much. I was lying to the people I love the most and I just could not bare to lye anymore." He looks at me puzzled.  
  
"What are you saying Abby?" He smirks as he says this.  
  
"Chloe, my daughter she's yours too." I let the words hang in the air a minute.   
  
"D- daughter?" He stutters.  
  
"That night-"  
  
"I know the night your talking about..." He is mad, I've seen this look before twice actually. "You kept my daughter away from me? Let some other man raise her as his daughter without giving me a say in the matter?" He spits.  
  
"I just wanted her to be my daughter, and Danny's daughter not your daughter."   
  
"Well guess what Abby she is my daughter."   
  
"You don't have to have a say in any of this, I just had to tell you. Danny wanted me too, I am trying to save my marriage and my relationship with my daughter." I start to choke up again. "What about me Abby? What about my family?"   
  
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	5. Tension

Authors Note: Here is another chapter its kinda long but it gets into stuff... just take a read. I don't think this will be a long fic maybe 8 chapters. I am going to start another Carby fic soon, but brace your self this one will not have kids in it! I just put out a stand alone fic called 'Just to be' I kinda like it, if you have not read it go check it out. (I know I know i'm pimping my fics)   
  
Also for Hate to Love fans the fic should be updated sometime this week before Friday I should be putting my next piece up. I'm just iffy about it. Anyways here is the fic!   
  
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"Mommy, why isn't Chloe going to school today? Is she marrying Baxter?" Sebastian asked with a mischievous smile on his face. "No." I said firmly scanning my house for Sebastian's hat. "Right here mom!" Cole said holding the hat out to me. "Mom, is dad coming back?" He continued. I smiled weakly at my son, hoping that the smile in itself would reassure him that everything would be okay, although right now I was not sure if would be. "Mom." He grew impatient by the second.  
  
"Cole, get out, I'll walk you to the bus stop." He rolled his eyes at me. We walked outside Sebastian held tightly onto my hand Cole walked ahead of us. Danny was suppose to be coming over later today, he had managed to talk to Chloe she was very upset. I don't blame her I did lie to her for her whole life. Danny told me they are on even ground now but Chloe still has anger towards me. She will not talk to me at all and is trying to convince her father to let her live with him. He's also barley speaking to me. He is now staying in his brothers old apartment, he just moved out and he decided to keep it for a little while so that is where Danny is staying. Carter is pretty angry too. He wants to meet Chloe, Danny is against this completely but I can't deny him his rights as a father. The bus pulled up and the kids raced onto it.  
  
* * *  
  
"I don't know why the hell you invited him over here?" Danny said angry, yet quietly.   
  
"He's her fa-" I cut myself off mid sentence. "He wants to meet her." I walk to the stairs and holler for Chloe. "Chloe, come down here for a second." Danny rolls his eyes at me. "I want a blood test Abby." I jolt my head over to face him. I am the one to roll my eyes this time. I hear the doorbell ring and immediately go to answer it while Danny gets Chloe.  
  
Carter is standing there looking defeated he doesn't smile he more cringes. I let him in without saying anything. "Danny is just getting her." I tell him, he nods at me and then walks into the living room to take a seat. I hear Chloe and Danny talking quietly. They walk into the room, Chloe stopping dead in her tracks and staring at Carter. Danny gives me death stares the whole time. Chloe and John lock eyes, she looks angrier then before and attempts to walk away but Danny stops her. "Is that him?" She asks Danny bitterly. He nods solemnly, I stand up to go see her but she won't look at me. "Chloe-" I put my hand on her arm but she brushes it off. "Chloe, do you want to talk to him?" Danny asks.  
  
"No! He's not my father you are I don't want anything to do with him." She says firmly. She puts a nasty spin on the word 'him' making him sound like a mass murder. Carter shakes his head still not saying anything. "Chloe its not like he didn't want anything to do with you-" I start she cuts me off mid sentence.   
  
"It doesn't matter- THAT DOESN'T MATTER!" She is shouting now, tears filling her beautiful brown eyes. "HE DIDN'T WANT ME!" She roughly brushes the tears away from her eyes. "Chloe-" I run after her up the stairs. She slams the door violently in my face. I reach for the knob and turn it slowly. She is lying face down on her bed. Her face in pushed into her pillow I can hear soft cries escaping from her body. Sitting down on the bed I softly begin to speak. "When I was younger I married a man, a mean guy. His name was Richard and he was a piece of- well he was horrible. He cheated on me continually and deliberately tried to make my life a living hell. I started drinking because of my messed up life, I had a mother who was bi polar, I would have to chase her all around the country and bring her back with me to get help just so she could do the exact same thing again. I decided to take a step in my life and go to med school. I started working at County, Richard was paying my med school tuition as I did for him. When one day he cut it off so I was a nurse. I then met Luka, Baxter's dad. We dated for a while. But during this relationship I made a connection, a deep friendship with John Carter. Our relationship grew into a romance about two years later. We dated for a year and things were looking bleak. He took off to Africa, things happened and when he came back he had a pregnant girlfriend. I took this hard. About three weeks after he came back we had a one night stand." I stumble a little on this part. "Uh- that's the night you were concieved. We promised that would never happen again and he did not want anything to do with me. I guess the history and everything," I start to choke up a little. "A week later I met your father and god I loved him he was perfect and you came along nine months later and god so are you, just like him. Carter is your biological father but not your father. He did not raise you or yell at your coach when you were benched on the basketball team." I pause and she turns over and looks at me with a tear stained face that has gone from hard and angry to a little more forgiving or at the leased intrigued. "I never told John because he already had a girlfriend and I lead your father to believe you were his even though I was pregnant three weeks before we had sex. It was a horrible thing I did, but here you are and if you were your fathers then you wouldn't be you. John's girlfriend had complications at the birth of their child but he has two more. Kelsey and Spencer. They are your half brother and sister, this going to be weird for them too Chloe." She sits up and looks at me.  
  
"I- I don't want another dad but I feel like my whole life was a lie you know?" She squints her eyes at me. "In grade one when we did the family history I had Dad's information down there but that's not me. I'm not half Canadian unless of course Carter is." I nod in agreement. "Well maybe you can talk to Carter. When you are ready of course." She nods sadly. "I just wish everything would go back to normal." tear flooded from her eyes streaking her already red tear stained face. "When it was- me, you, Daddy, Cole and Bastian." Her body shook with sobs. She brought up her grey sweater and wiped her face. She sat up straight smiling at me. I pulled her tiny body into a hug bearing my head in her shoulder doing my best not to cry. I wrecked my daughters life, I wrecked my husbands life, Carters life and my sons life. "So-" She started slowly. "Carter was cheating on his girlfriend when you slept with him?" She could barley get the words out.   
  
"Not really honey, they were taking sort of a break. They had an open relationship idea, Carter or I would never do anything like that." It was true. Kem was pregnant with his son but they were on the rocks a little during the pregnancy so they agreed to have an open relationship, the day after Carter and I slept together they decided it was just Kems hormones going nuts and got back together. I had forgotten all about Carter after that. I had gotten over him while he was in the Congo it was just the heat of the moment I guess you could say. "Cole and Sebastian their dad's kids right?"   
  
"Yeah." She smiled at me, I knew that we were not back on track yet but maybe one day we would be. It would take a lot of work and I would have to earn her trust back again but I would do it. I love my children so much. "Can daddy trust you again?" I guess she has so many questions that she didn't get to ask me because of all the anger she had towards me. "I don't know baby." I say pushing a strand of hair out of her face.  
  
* * *   
  
I never got to meet my daughter. Well I guess I did but not formally and I certainly did not get to talk to her. She was very upset at her mother and I. I would have loved to see her if I had known about her. I told Kem about her, she was shocked. She told me that I should tell Spencer and Kelsey I don't think I can. What am I suppose to say? I guess they deserve to know that they have a sister. Kem is going back to the Congo tomorrow, I am going to miss her. We both realize not matter how much we care for each other that we lead different lives. The kids will miss her, but she will come back during the summer and stay for a bit. She said she would be back at Christmas. I walk to the admit desk and flip through a chart aimlessly. I am not even thinking about what I am reading. "Hi." I hear a tiny voice say. It is a girl, bundled up in a heavy winter coat. Her long brown hair hanging gently in front of her face. Her dark brown eyes stare at me like she has a question, an important one. They look sad, upset. Light freckles spot her face. She is pretty and I suddenly realize who it is. "Dr. Carter." She says to me.  
  
"Yeah, Chloe right?" She nods shyly. I look down and see her little brother grasping on to her hand. He is looking around the hospital. They look a little bit alike, he has lighter brown hair though and a big toothless smile. "This is Sebastian my brother." She say lifting the hand of his she is holding. "Hi." I say smiling at the young boy.  
  
"Hi." He says distracted.   
  
"Uh- I just wanted to talk to you, I know the last time I saw you was three weeks ago, but I remember Baxter saying you work here and I wanted to do this in person, and alone but mom and dad wanted me to watch him while they work and Cole is at Karate. Today was the day I got the courage." I can see a faint smile cross her lips then quickly fade away.   
  
"Uh- Come into the lounge. We have chips and pop in there if you or Sebastian want some." I see the little boy look over at me. His eyes lighting up.   
  
"Did you say chips." He says with that toothless smile showing.  
  
"Yeah." I walk towards the lounge and they follow me. Chloe takes a seat on the couch, Sebastian sits close beside her. I grab two cans of soda and two bags of chips. I sit on the chair facing the couch. I smile at her and she looks nervous. Sebastian munches on his chips carelessly, obviously not noticing the tension. "um- I was wondering do you have kids?" She played with her hair, not making eye contact with me. yet I continued to stare intently at her. "Yes. Two. Kelsey who is nine and Spencer who is Five."   
  
"I am five!" Sebastian pipes up. Then he quickly goes back to humming and eating his chips. "Uh- Are your parents still alive?"   
  
"Yeah, my mom and dad are. But I was very close with my Gamma and she died while I was still dating your mother."   
  
"Sorry." She smiles sympathetically.   
  
"My Gamma raised me though."   
  
"Mom says you have a little bit of money." She says shyly. I laugh at this I would hardly say a little bit. "Yeah. A little bit is an understatement." There is a silence that fills the room her eyes dart around for something, anything to concentrate on. She breaks the silence by excusing herself. "Thanks for talking to me I just wanted to know a few things, and tell you that you don't have to be in my life." She stands up, her word stinging more then she knows. Sebastian follows her lead and runs to the door. I stop her and whisper to her. "Your my daughter and I love you as much now as I would if I was present the day of your birth and through out the rest of your life I'm not going anywhere." She doesn't look at me and continues to walk towards the door. 


End file.
